We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
