I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
