If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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