so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
