Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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