I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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