fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
