And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
