I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
