I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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