Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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