Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My dick has a subreddit
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
