Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
