he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
