You work out of a Hotel?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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