Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
