White coat. Heels.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
