I just made out with a guy for $7.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
