Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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