She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
