Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
