Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
