Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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