This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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