i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
one might say we're banned from that church
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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