she is the kim kardashian of front butts
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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