10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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