Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
