Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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