She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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