the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
