This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
did i walk over a car last night?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize