this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
