I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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