You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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