id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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