I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
