Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
