Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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