I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
