I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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