I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
