The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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