I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
