I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
