PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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