I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
