I queefed so loud it echoed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
