Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I look better un-naked...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
