If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
