I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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